SILENCE CAN NOT BE MISQUOTED. OR CAN IT?

I had a unique experience this week. A surprise take away for me at least was that some of the most vocal people I knew were silent on a topic of discussion in which I knew they have personal experience and varied points of view. I have to admit that after considering their silence, i realized it was repeated behavior for decades from people in former generations just like them. It rattled me to a degree. Their silence made me recall the adage, “Silence can never be misquoted.” In other words, if they didn’t say anything, it could not be quoted. Wisdom, right?

“Oh, that you would be completely silent, And that silence would be your wisdom!”‭‭Job‬ ‭13:5‬ ‭

Keeping your silence can have benefits, such as avoiding hurt feelings or an unnecessary argument. We’ve all been in situations that are better left without our response. With age, I certainly do not attend every argument to which I am invited. It’s best to just be silent. However, at other times silence can be a negative thing and quite damaging. You see silence can never be misquoted, but it can be misinterpreted.

Your words matter. You are being listened to each and everyday. Whether good or bad, what you share with others has a huge impact.

You should consistently seek wisdom, direction and discernment in the use of your words. It should matter to you how you choose to talk.

SILENCE IS GOLDEN

When You Should Remain Silent:

1. When emotions are running extremely high. It’s best to cool all the way down before speaking something that could cause permanent damage.
2. When you have not gathered all information. It’s perfectly fine to say, “Give me (insert a reasonable time frame) and I’ll get back to you.”
3. When the party with which you’re communicating is seeking a reaction and not an answer. Some people approach you to cause a reaction and not an answer. These people don’t want resolution; they want confusion.
4. When you have an opinion but haven’t formulated it into a appropriate presentation. Content is best communicated when presented in its best form.

SILENCE MEANS CONSENT

When Should You Not Remain Silent:

1. When you have a prepared answer to bring justice to a situation but you’re afraid or intimidated by the opposer. Always show respect, especially to your elders and those of higher authority, but recognize that we are all fallible humans.
2. When not speaking up will cause more immediate, progressive and collateral damage than saying something.
3. When your wisdom will bring about a beneficial teachable moment for most present. Don’t assume people already know the answer. The obvious is not always obvious. Your voice and experience has value, but use discretion.
4. When you are invested. Nothing shows commitment like being present and involved. Speaking your mind demonstrates that you are honestly working toward the truth of the betterment for all. The greater good has priority over those who choose to be offended by your truth.

You really do have the right to remain silent. Sometimes that should be exercised. But know when to speak up because everything you say (or neglect to say) can and could be used for or against you.

Silence is very much an active part of conversation. Don’t just stand by and be a passive observer of something that you don’t agree with. It is important to speak up and let your voice be heard. If you say nothing, people will either think that you agree with what is going on, or that you are too scared to speak out. They will, however, remember that you were silent on something that mattered. So, don’t be afraid to let others know what you think. They may or may not agree, but all involved can become better informed after having heard another perspective.

©2017 Sheilah Vickers Consulting

Photo credit to respective owner

Well?! WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT??

Have you ever been to the mall or the park and gone “people watching?” I find it interesting in attempting to imagine their life and even their purpose for being where they are on that particular day. Are they shopping for a relative? Are they preparing for a special day like a graduation? I also find a colossal waste of time. I could spend an hour in supposition literally watching people! 

Much of what we perceive involves sight. In fact, seeing is such a big part of everyday life that it requires about half of the brain to get involved. I saw a commercial this week that mentioned that out of all the muscles in your body, the muscles that control your eyes are the most active. You see, when you awake to begin your day it takes some time for most parts of your body to warm up to their full potential, but your eyes are on their “A game” 24/7. Fascinating, right? 

So, what are YOU looking at? Consider your directional perspective.

• Looking AroundThis is one of the most dangerous positions. The implications are that your view is merely to see what is in your environment and while it is good to be aware there is also a danger. Watching others will only bring results of seeing what others are doing. Observation by sight will teach you only a portion of what you need; it doesn’t compare the personal experience of your journey.

• Looking OutNow, this is different from Looking Around. Looking Out encapsulates the concept of watching while working. It is the “seeing” in the beware of dangers that may incur. Looking Out can not only save you but others. It is integral to know that distractions come in many forms on many levels. You must be prepared to handle all that comes with the territory of those who are threatened by your success. 

• Looking UpThe most fascinating things happen when you look up! I was seated in the waiting area of a restaurant with some family members. The area wasn’t new to me; I had been to this place quite a few times. This day while waiting I happened to look up and saw such an intriguing display of lights. Think about it, if you want to see the light you must look up. From where is your help? You cannot go through this life without looking up for direction, guidance and instruction. I mean, you could but you’ll wind up with not so great results. So, look up! See the Light! Get your strength! Receive guidance and directives. Let the Light shine brightly on the path you should go. 

• Looking InWho are you? Do you know? It’s a challenge to answer who you are without stating what you do. And while that is a part of who you are, it is not the totality of you. You must be clear about who you are and you must be clear about who you’re not. This knowledge will afford you to step out the “box,” without coming out of character. 

• Looking AheadIt used to be fun to hop in the car to go for a “ride.” The act of meandering around town with no specific destination, feeling a nice summer breeze and enjoying company filled that time with contentment. However as an adult I only enjoy those encounters once in a while. If I am a passenger in a car and the driving route seems aimless, my question will soon arise, “Where are we going?” And “What time will we get there?” Why? Because time is not a commodity to waste. What are your goals in life? Are they aligned with your purpose in life? What steps are you making toward achieving your goal? What have you done this day to bring you closer to fulfilling your life purpose? In other words, Where are you going? And what time will you get there?

Don’t lose sight of the precious gift of sight. Of all of the parts of the human body that can be lost, vision is the only thing that can’t be replaced.

©Sheilah Vickers Consulting 2017.             Photo credit to respective owner