Focus, People. Focus!

From the series Perfecting Your Craft.

So, here’s Part 2 of the Perfecting Your Craft series. Today we will discus Keeping Your Focus.

Have you ever been distracted? I don’t mean a slight diversion and slip of the eye for a quick second. This kind of distraction consumes you until you forget about what you set out to do!

Think about it. Something as minuscule in comparison to the human body such as a gnat or fly can control your attention into swatting it away and possibly causing a dangerous situation if driving. But how often do we give attention to things that are irrelevant to our future and success, especially when their life span is 7 days for a gnat and 28 days for a fly.

1. You Can’t Win If You’re Always Watching Others. 

I remember watching the 2016 Summer Olympics 200m Butterfly. The image that remained in my mind was Chad Le Clos steadily watching Michael Phelps.

I was watching this race with my father. Almost immediately after the race began my dad called out, “He’s gonna watch Phelps win this!” After Phelps’ win, I asked how he knew. My dad then dropped this principle. You see, he was a mile runner who held the record in the state of Louisiana in high school, so he knew something about winning tactics.

He recalled a race he ran. It was his record breaking race up against the runner who held the record. His competitor used his time with intimidating looks. My dad used his time to focus on the goal: the finish line. My dad won the race. After the race the former record breaker congratulated my dad by saying, “Man, I watched you three times. The first time, you were behind me. The second time, you were beside me. And the last time, you were ahead of me crossing the finish line. Did you even see me??” My dad told me the only thing he saw was the finish line.

2. Focus on the lesson of the bigger picture. 

Many of you have earned degrees and/or certifications from higher education or institutions. I speak with scores of current students who complain about taking a course in which they feel is totally irrelevant to work in the field in which they desire to work. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard, “Why do I even have to take this course? When am I ever going to need to know if z + y= x?”

My reply is always the same as I retell my days of college. In comparison to other students who were my classmates, there were many nights of what seemed like endless reading assignments, research papers and meeting deadlines. In contrast to them, I was 10 years their senior. You see, my outlook was slightly different because I was older. Illness had precluded an earlier enrollment for me.

My reply is also simple. Although I cannot recall every chapter and lesson learned in the many classes taken, I did receive a good education in my field. However the biggest thing I learned in college was discipline. The amount of freedom was immense. It was totally up to me to hunker down, learn the lesson and earn the grade.

3. You are NOT Oprah.

Now of course, no one is except Ms. Oprah herself. But have you ever aspired to be great and someone comes along and tells you how easy being great is? They come up with, “You have the same hours in a day as Oprah. And if she can do it, what’s your excuse?”

My business mentor kindly put this theory to rest. She simply said to my cohort, “You are not Oprah. Oprah has a chauffeur. Oprah has an executive chef. Oprah has an assistant. Oprah has a personal hair stylist. Oprah has a clothing stylist. Oprah has a private jet. And many other things including the wealth to afford them all. You are NOT Oprah.”

It placed everything in perspective. Those luxuries including the extra time are afforded to the few who truly make it. Until then you cannot afford to abuse time as if someone else can fill in the work of the middle man of leg work. If you have time to daydream, you’re wasting it. Begin placing your actual dreams into an action plan. Then use the rest of that time to put that plan into action.

©2017 Photo credit to respective owner. Written expression to Sheilah Vickers

Teachable Moments

This vlog is from the series, “Perfecting Your Craft.” Enjoy!

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This blog is actually formulated because of a large response to a vlog, “Perfect Your Craft.”

The fact of the matter is, THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO CAN DO WHAT YOU DO. The good, no great news is that no one, and I mean NO ONE can do what you do like you. Putting your spin and your special sauce on what you do places you above the crowd!

Many inquired about how they can get started perfecting their craft. So for the next two weeks, I’ll provide some helpful steps in getting you to that place.

Today we’re talking about Teachable Moments. (The video is on the Sheilah Vickers Consulting Facebook page.)

A teachable moment is an opportunity to learn a lesson that you weren’t expecting.

1. Look for Lessons in Unexpected Places.
These lessons are gleaned in places that often have nothing to do with your craft. I am an educator by profession, but one example came about while frying chicken. A young lady often complained that although I gave her my recipe and demonstrated it, her chicken didn’t come out right.

I observed her process from beginning to end. And although her end product looked golden brown, it was raw inside. Why? Her flame was too high and she did not give it time to fully cook.

Lesson: Sometimes we go for things (and people) only looking the part but we don’t have the content to match. Some things just take time.

2. What Can We Learn from “No?”
So, you didn’t get the promotion or the job for which you interviewed. But what is your take away?
Did you over speak?
Did you not speak enough?
Were you knowledgeable of the company to which you applied? Did you research?
Were you prepared when they asked where you saw yourself in the next ten years?
It’s okay to fail, but always learn the lesson from it.

3. Wisdom over Knowledge.
Earned degrees and program completions will give you knowledge. Knowledge provides the “what” and “how.” Having that without wisdom still leaves you failing. Wisdom is knowing “when” to apply the “what” and “how.” Wisdom is the principle thing, therefore get wisdom.

I look forward to sharing more with you in the coming weeks about Perfecting Your Craft.

©2017 Photo credit to respective owner. Written expression to Sheilah Vickers

Here’s Why I Kept the Ugly Cane!

Living WITH sarcoidosis. (sigh!)

Sometimes it gets to be way too much!! I can’t do this by myself! Not another step or move if I don’t get some help! Sometimes it’s too overwhelming to expect that I can keep going without getting a break! I’m only one person!! 

Yep!! Those are words spoken directly out of my mouth. You see, I was diagnosed with sarcoidosis in 1993, and some days are good and other days are…well, let’s just label them as challenging. This dreadful autoimmune disease affects not only my lungs but every joint in my body. 

I haven’t shared much about the subject of using a cane because quite frankly, it was EMBARRASSING for a 23 year old (who was not in some kind of accident) to periodically have to use a cane. Can you imagine? One day a vibrant young lady working a job, singing and writing for and traveling with an award winning choir, having an active social life and the next time in sight, she’s barely able to walk?? 

Fast forward 24 years later: I’m Still Here! 😊

Soooo, here are my reasons regarding this cane:

1. I honestly NEED to use a cane every once in a while. Without it, getting around would be extremely painful and quite difficult. I had to become ok with it. I remember I would try to hide it or go without it in my twenties. Lol I was most miserable. 

 I would think, “Who’d want a friend who was slowed down by a cane? What man would want a girlfriend/wife who had to periodically use a cane?” I had to be OK that if NO ONE did, I’D STILL WANT ME. The opinions of people could not bother me to the point of self hatred or self denial.

2) I remember someone dear to me who is much older suggested that I get a fancy cane…one like she had. Because she had no ill motives and is quite fancy herself, I honestly looked into getting one. There were SO many choices! There were florals, metallics, foldables, ones that stand on their own, and multiple pronged. I’m certain I’m missing some others, but you get my point. 

Then I looked at the cane given to me at the Emergency Room. You know, the basic old people’s cane when you sprain your ankle? (Yeah, I’ve had a few of those too!) And guess what? I decided to keep it!!

The ER cane is for limited use. Its purpose is not for aesthetics. If I conceded to purchasing a fancier cane, to ME, it was accepting the fact that this was a permanent situation. And no matter what the doctors’ prognosis is, I will still believe that my healing will completely manifest itself. 

The ugly cane represents everything TEMPORAL for me. And like a song goes, “It won’t always be like this!”

Be very encouraged to know that even if you’re down at the moment and whatever you’re experiencing right now seems long and difficult, it’s only temporary. 

©Photo credit to respective owner 

SILENCE CAN NOT BE MISQUOTED. OR CAN IT?

I had a unique experience this week. A surprise take away for me at least was that some of the most vocal people I knew were silent on a topic of discussion in which I knew they have personal experience and varied points of view. I have to admit that after considering their silence, i realized it was repeated behavior for decades from people in former generations just like them. It rattled me to a degree. Their silence made me recall the adage, “Silence can never be misquoted.” In other words, if they didn’t say anything, it could not be quoted. Wisdom, right?

“Oh, that you would be completely silent, And that silence would be your wisdom!”‭‭Job‬ ‭13:5‬ ‭

Keeping your silence can have benefits, such as avoiding hurt feelings or an unnecessary argument. We’ve all been in situations that are better left without our response. With age, I certainly do not attend every argument to which I am invited. It’s best to just be silent. However, at other times silence can be a negative thing and quite damaging. You see silence can never be misquoted, but it can be misinterpreted.

Your words matter. You are being listened to each and everyday. Whether good or bad, what you share with others has a huge impact.

You should consistently seek wisdom, direction and discernment in the use of your words. It should matter to you how you choose to talk.

SILENCE IS GOLDEN

When You Should Remain Silent:

1. When emotions are running extremely high. It’s best to cool all the way down before speaking something that could cause permanent damage.
2. When you have not gathered all information. It’s perfectly fine to say, “Give me (insert a reasonable time frame) and I’ll get back to you.”
3. When the party with which you’re communicating is seeking a reaction and not an answer. Some people approach you to cause a reaction and not an answer. These people don’t want resolution; they want confusion.
4. When you have an opinion but haven’t formulated it into a appropriate presentation. Content is best communicated when presented in its best form.

SILENCE MEANS CONSENT

When Should You Not Remain Silent:

1. When you have a prepared answer to bring justice to a situation but you’re afraid or intimidated by the opposer. Always show respect, especially to your elders and those of higher authority, but recognize that we are all fallible humans.
2. When not speaking up will cause more immediate, progressive and collateral damage than saying something.
3. When your wisdom will bring about a beneficial teachable moment for most present. Don’t assume people already know the answer. The obvious is not always obvious. Your voice and experience has value, but use discretion.
4. When you are invested. Nothing shows commitment like being present and involved. Speaking your mind demonstrates that you are honestly working toward the truth of the betterment for all. The greater good has priority over those who choose to be offended by your truth.

You really do have the right to remain silent. Sometimes that should be exercised. But know when to speak up because everything you say (or neglect to say) can and could be used for or against you.

Silence is very much an active part of conversation. Don’t just stand by and be a passive observer of something that you don’t agree with. It is important to speak up and let your voice be heard. If you say nothing, people will either think that you agree with what is going on, or that you are too scared to speak out. They will, however, remember that you were silent on something that mattered. So, don’t be afraid to let others know what you think. They may or may not agree, but all involved can become better informed after having heard another perspective.

©2017 Sheilah Vickers Consulting

Photo credit to respective owner

Well?! WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT??

Have you ever been to the mall or the park and gone “people watching?” I find it interesting in attempting to imagine their life and even their purpose for being where they are on that particular day. Are they shopping for a relative? Are they preparing for a special day like a graduation? I also find a colossal waste of time. I could spend an hour in supposition literally watching people! 

Much of what we perceive involves sight. In fact, seeing is such a big part of everyday life that it requires about half of the brain to get involved. I saw a commercial this week that mentioned that out of all the muscles in your body, the muscles that control your eyes are the most active. You see, when you awake to begin your day it takes some time for most parts of your body to warm up to their full potential, but your eyes are on their “A game” 24/7. Fascinating, right? 

So, what are YOU looking at? Consider your directional perspective.

• Looking AroundThis is one of the most dangerous positions. The implications are that your view is merely to see what is in your environment and while it is good to be aware there is also a danger. Watching others will only bring results of seeing what others are doing. Observation by sight will teach you only a portion of what you need; it doesn’t compare the personal experience of your journey.

• Looking OutNow, this is different from Looking Around. Looking Out encapsulates the concept of watching while working. It is the “seeing” in the beware of dangers that may incur. Looking Out can not only save you but others. It is integral to know that distractions come in many forms on many levels. You must be prepared to handle all that comes with the territory of those who are threatened by your success. 

• Looking UpThe most fascinating things happen when you look up! I was seated in the waiting area of a restaurant with some family members. The area wasn’t new to me; I had been to this place quite a few times. This day while waiting I happened to look up and saw such an intriguing display of lights. Think about it, if you want to see the light you must look up. From where is your help? You cannot go through this life without looking up for direction, guidance and instruction. I mean, you could but you’ll wind up with not so great results. So, look up! See the Light! Get your strength! Receive guidance and directives. Let the Light shine brightly on the path you should go. 

• Looking InWho are you? Do you know? It’s a challenge to answer who you are without stating what you do. And while that is a part of who you are, it is not the totality of you. You must be clear about who you are and you must be clear about who you’re not. This knowledge will afford you to step out the “box,” without coming out of character. 

• Looking AheadIt used to be fun to hop in the car to go for a “ride.” The act of meandering around town with no specific destination, feeling a nice summer breeze and enjoying company filled that time with contentment. However as an adult I only enjoy those encounters once in a while. If I am a passenger in a car and the driving route seems aimless, my question will soon arise, “Where are we going?” And “What time will we get there?” Why? Because time is not a commodity to waste. What are your goals in life? Are they aligned with your purpose in life? What steps are you making toward achieving your goal? What have you done this day to bring you closer to fulfilling your life purpose? In other words, Where are you going? And what time will you get there?

Don’t lose sight of the precious gift of sight. Of all of the parts of the human body that can be lost, vision is the only thing that can’t be replaced.

©Sheilah Vickers Consulting 2017.             Photo credit to respective owner 

The Power of “i”…

What is your deciding factor to unplug? 

Conducting workshops and sessions with many Millennials and Gen Z’ers, I find that access to the World Wide Web is consistently at the stroke of their fingers at any given moment. It’s rare to find them without some kind of device in their hands. From walking around campus, to sitting at their workstation to sitting in church to working out and even just moving about in their home, devices with access to the internet is not far from their reach.

Have you ever charted how many hours per day you are connected to a device?

Many sleep with at least one of these devices next to their pillow. It’s the last thing they put down and the first thing they pick up. Countless hours are spent at a time merely surfing and perusing. It’s entertainment, educational, packed full of information and otherwise. Both opinionated and instructional, both entertaining and detaining all at once.

iPhone. iPads. iPods. iWatch. iCloud. All having the prefix, “i.” Of course, the “i” stands for internet but it really caught on because it also indicates other valuable i things, like individual, imagination, i as in me, etc. How many times do we allow the i(insert device) to control how and how much you live? We must be mindful of what is too much of a good thing. We must focus on the discipline of BETTER.

Have you stopped to consider the wealth away from the noise? Everyone needs the solace of silence. Make time to be still.

Today I want you to notice the first letter in these devices: “i.” The first letter is who and what is in control of any and all actions. YOU are the deciding factor.

Beauty Explained: April Showers Brings May Flowers

“…what you sow does not come to life unless it dies” 1 Corinthians 16:36

April, traditionally a rainy period, gives way to May, when flowers will bloom because of the water provided to them by the April rains.
We see the beauty of the bloom but rarely do we think about what it took to produce. So, what does it take to bloom? Let’s look at the process:

1. Seed Stage:

It all begins with a seed. The seed contains an embryo but it must be placed in an environment conducive for growth. But not just placed: IT MUST BE BURIED!

Have you ever felt like you weren’t much to begin with and then comes along something to push you further down into the dirt? It would seem like the ones who should see your potential (embryo) would lift you higher but instead you feel like you’re being pushed beneath everyone else. Be of GOOD cheer!! You’re about to grow! 

2. Germination Stage:

When a seed falls to the ground, it needs warmth and water but it also needs light. And oh how I’d love to tell you that this process is pretty, but let’s face it: it’s dirty! Pushed down, buried, watered on with just a portion of light. The embryo begins to get uncomfortable because the space is getting tighter. This feels like torture to us. It’s not good enough to be buried but now we’re uncomfortable! Then something POPS! What was that? The case of the seed just broke open. 

You have literally outgrown what was able to only take you so far. It’s okay because everything has a reason and a season. But know that just as the embryo is growing outward, your roots are growing downward.

You see, it’s important to be buried so that you will be grounded. Roots give stabilization so that you are not carried away and moved by every wind and emotion that comes along.

There’s another reason roots go downward: to seek water and nutrients. I cannot express enough how integral it is to watch what you eat! What’s feeding you determines your life or death.

3. Growth:
Finally, you see signs of blades pushing through the soil. And in its season, the bulb is formed. However the life cycle is not complete without photosynthesis; this means that the plant should now have grown enough to produce enough to sustain itself. What are you investing back into you so that you are sustained? Sure, the petals are beautiful but if there is nothing in the stem set up to systematically keep it living it will surely die.

Don’t despise your process. And don’t allow all that has been invested in you to be wasted. 

“It is a fact that a grain of wheat must fall to the ground and die before it can grow and produce much more wheat. If it never dies, it will never be more than a single seed.”‭‭ John‬ ‭12:24‬

Admitting

Yes, it will all be okay. Everything will work out for my good. And although I am not with physical company at present, God IS with me.

I’m actually grateful that I have this alone time to allow this unnerving feeling to subside as I allow my faith to grow.

It is all okay. Everything is working out for my good. Although I am not with physical company, God IS with me.

I absolutely believe that my testimony is strengthening myself and others. This suffering can’t be compared to the glory that coming!

It’s all okay. Everything worked out for my good. Although I am not with physical company, God IS with me.

Let’s go…

Are You Living for Likes?

I speak to millennial leaders and those who wish to relaunch their lives. You can Leap Past the Limts and Begin Again!

I know! I know! I absolutely know! We all need validation. It’s the feedback from others that lets you know that what you do and say matters to them. Validation is a display that you are accepted and supported and therefore strengthened.

• No man is an island.

Humans are interdependent beings. There are levels of validation that are clearly both positive and healthy. External support is encouraging and no one should feel all alone in life.

Applause, good grades on a report card, a pat on the shoulder, a smile and a nod, a note of appreciation, a thumbs up, and a wink of the eye all say, “Good job!” And while it feels good, it can be addictive.

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Self-checks are always in order.  Always keep your focus and motives in check for doing what you do. If what you do is only for the approval from others, stop. If you gauge your value by only numbers on social media, stop. If you constantly compare your journey as unhealthy competition with others, stop. No one- NO ONE- can do what you are called to do.

• What is your passion? 

Follow your passion because it should be connected to what you do. Your passion and deeds should not be dependent on recognition. Do what you do (and do it well) whether 2 million or 12 like it.

My point? 

KEEP DOING WHAT YOU’RE CALLED TO DO! 

I admit that I used to get discouraged and disappointed when I saw people- MY people- call on others to do exactly what I do and then get invited to watch. I can now  laugh at my excitement about finally getting those calls…only to be asked for a contact of a colleague!

Listen, take it from me: know who you are and know that you will have an audience. They may not look like you or come from the same neighborhood as you, but trust that your audience is awaiting your voice. Forget about others who don’t support (yes, even if they’re your family and friends.) In time, like the bandwagon, they’ll catch up.

Appreciate Your Storm

If I took a poll, surveying people who likes sunshine or storms most would choose sunshine. I mean really, why do you think people refer to storms as “bad weather?” 

As a young girl, my mother taught me to avoid using that very term, “bad weather.” She told me that there was no such thing. “IMPOSSIBLE!” I thought. But she explained that God sends the rain just as He does sunshine. WOW! I’d never thought of it that way. 

The climate or atmosphere may be our preference but that alone doesn’t make it “bad.” I was then taught the more appropriate term to describe weather relating to storms or the bitter cold temperatures of the northeast: inclement. 

There was something else I’d learned. I learned to appreciate the storm. The earth needs torrential downpours of water to keep vegetation growing. The earth needs bitterly cold temperatures to kill off all of the germs before the warmth of Spring and the allergens appear. 

Did you ever notice, the bigger the storm the more still we become? There’s something about the devastation of what we cannot control that makes humans be still. Snow, floods, ice, rain, heat can all shut down an entire city and even region if large enough. 

So, what do we do in those times and immediately after? We hunker down, bind ourselves together and then we recover. Hang on in there! The sun will shine after while. 

What lessons have you to learn from your storm? I’m sure it’s made you stronger. It’s truly a part of your growth in the journey.