Well?! WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT??

Have you ever been to the mall or the park and gone “people watching?” I find it interesting in attempting to imagine their life and even their purpose for being where they are on that particular day. Are they shopping for a relative? Are they preparing for a special day like a graduation? I also find a colossal waste of time. I could spend an hour in supposition literally watching people! 

Much of what we perceive involves sight. In fact, seeing is such a big part of everyday life that it requires about half of the brain to get involved. I saw a commercial this week that mentioned that out of all the muscles in your body, the muscles that control your eyes are the most active. You see, when you awake to begin your day it takes some time for most parts of your body to warm up to their full potential, but your eyes are on their “A game” 24/7. Fascinating, right? 

So, what are YOU looking at? Consider your directional perspective.

• Looking AroundThis is one of the most dangerous positions. The implications are that your view is merely to see what is in your environment and while it is good to be aware there is also a danger. Watching others will only bring results of seeing what others are doing. Observation by sight will teach you only a portion of what you need; it doesn’t compare the personal experience of your journey.

• Looking OutNow, this is different from Looking Around. Looking Out encapsulates the concept of watching while working. It is the “seeing” in the beware of dangers that may incur. Looking Out can not only save you but others. It is integral to know that distractions come in many forms on many levels. You must be prepared to handle all that comes with the territory of those who are threatened by your success. 

• Looking UpThe most fascinating things happen when you look up! I was seated in the waiting area of a restaurant with some family members. The area wasn’t new to me; I had been to this place quite a few times. This day while waiting I happened to look up and saw such an intriguing display of lights. Think about it, if you want to see the light you must look up. From where is your help? You cannot go through this life without looking up for direction, guidance and instruction. I mean, you could but you’ll wind up with not so great results. So, look up! See the Light! Get your strength! Receive guidance and directives. Let the Light shine brightly on the path you should go. 

• Looking InWho are you? Do you know? It’s a challenge to answer who you are without stating what you do. And while that is a part of who you are, it is not the totality of you. You must be clear about who you are and you must be clear about who you’re not. This knowledge will afford you to step out the “box,” without coming out of character. 

• Looking AheadIt used to be fun to hop in the car to go for a “ride.” The act of meandering around town with no specific destination, feeling a nice summer breeze and enjoying company filled that time with contentment. However as an adult I only enjoy those encounters once in a while. If I am a passenger in a car and the driving route seems aimless, my question will soon arise, “Where are we going?” And “What time will we get there?” Why? Because time is not a commodity to waste. What are your goals in life? Are they aligned with your purpose in life? What steps are you making toward achieving your goal? What have you done this day to bring you closer to fulfilling your life purpose? In other words, Where are you going? And what time will you get there?

Don’t lose sight of the precious gift of sight. Of all of the parts of the human body that can be lost, vision is the only thing that can’t be replaced.

©Sheilah Vickers Consulting 2017.             Photo credit to respective owner 

The Power of “i”…

What is your deciding factor to unplug? 

Conducting workshops and sessions with many Millennials and Gen Z’ers, I find that access to the World Wide Web is consistently at the stroke of their fingers at any given moment. It’s rare to find them without some kind of device in their hands. From walking around campus, to sitting at their workstation to sitting in church to working out and even just moving about in their home, devices with access to the internet is not far from their reach.

Have you ever charted how many hours per day you are connected to a device?

Many sleep with at least one of these devices next to their pillow. It’s the last thing they put down and the first thing they pick up. Countless hours are spent at a time merely surfing and perusing. It’s entertainment, educational, packed full of information and otherwise. Both opinionated and instructional, both entertaining and detaining all at once.

iPhone. iPads. iPods. iWatch. iCloud. All having the prefix, “i.” Of course, the “i” stands for internet but it really caught on because it also indicates other valuable i things, like individual, imagination, i as in me, etc. How many times do we allow the i(insert device) to control how and how much you live? We must be mindful of what is too much of a good thing. We must focus on the discipline of BETTER.

Have you stopped to consider the wealth away from the noise? Everyone needs the solace of silence. Make time to be still.

Today I want you to notice the first letter in these devices: “i.” The first letter is who and what is in control of any and all actions. YOU are the deciding factor.

Beauty Explained: April Showers Brings May Flowers

“…what you sow does not come to life unless it dies” 1 Corinthians 16:36

April, traditionally a rainy period, gives way to May, when flowers will bloom because of the water provided to them by the April rains.
We see the beauty of the bloom but rarely do we think about what it took to produce. So, what does it take to bloom? Let’s look at the process:

1. Seed Stage:

It all begins with a seed. The seed contains an embryo but it must be placed in an environment conducive for growth. But not just placed: IT MUST BE BURIED!

Have you ever felt like you weren’t much to begin with and then comes along something to push you further down into the dirt? It would seem like the ones who should see your potential (embryo) would lift you higher but instead you feel like you’re being pushed beneath everyone else. Be of GOOD cheer!! You’re about to grow! 

2. Germination Stage:

When a seed falls to the ground, it needs warmth and water but it also needs light. And oh how I’d love to tell you that this process is pretty, but let’s face it: it’s dirty! Pushed down, buried, watered on with just a portion of light. The embryo begins to get uncomfortable because the space is getting tighter. This feels like torture to us. It’s not good enough to be buried but now we’re uncomfortable! Then something POPS! What was that? The case of the seed just broke open. 

You have literally outgrown what was able to only take you so far. It’s okay because everything has a reason and a season. But know that just as the embryo is growing outward, your roots are growing downward.

You see, it’s important to be buried so that you will be grounded. Roots give stabilization so that you are not carried away and moved by every wind and emotion that comes along.

There’s another reason roots go downward: to seek water and nutrients. I cannot express enough how integral it is to watch what you eat! What’s feeding you determines your life or death.

3. Growth:
Finally, you see signs of blades pushing through the soil. And in its season, the bulb is formed. However the life cycle is not complete without photosynthesis; this means that the plant should now have grown enough to produce enough to sustain itself. What are you investing back into you so that you are sustained? Sure, the petals are beautiful but if there is nothing in the stem set up to systematically keep it living it will surely die.

Don’t despise your process. And don’t allow all that has been invested in you to be wasted. 

“It is a fact that a grain of wheat must fall to the ground and die before it can grow and produce much more wheat. If it never dies, it will never be more than a single seed.”‭‭ John‬ ‭12:24‬

Admitting

Yes, it will all be okay. Everything will work out for my good. And although I am not with physical company at present, God IS with me.

I’m actually grateful that I have this alone time to allow this unnerving feeling to subside as I allow my faith to grow.

It is all okay. Everything is working out for my good. Although I am not with physical company, God IS with me.

I absolutely believe that my testimony is strengthening myself and others. This suffering can’t be compared to the glory that coming!

It’s all okay. Everything worked out for my good. Although I am not with physical company, God IS with me.

Let’s go…

Are You Living for Likes?

I speak to millennial leaders and those who wish to relaunch their lives. You can Leap Past the Limts and Begin Again!

I know! I know! I absolutely know! We all need validation. It’s the feedback from others that lets you know that what you do and say matters to them. Validation is a display that you are accepted and supported and therefore strengthened.

• No man is an island.

Humans are interdependent beings. There are levels of validation that are clearly both positive and healthy. External support is encouraging and no one should feel all alone in life.

Applause, good grades on a report card, a pat on the shoulder, a smile and a nod, a note of appreciation, a thumbs up, and a wink of the eye all say, “Good job!” And while it feels good, it can be addictive.

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Self-checks are always in order.  Always keep your focus and motives in check for doing what you do. If what you do is only for the approval from others, stop. If you gauge your value by only numbers on social media, stop. If you constantly compare your journey as unhealthy competition with others, stop. No one- NO ONE- can do what you are called to do.

• What is your passion? 

Follow your passion because it should be connected to what you do. Your passion and deeds should not be dependent on recognition. Do what you do (and do it well) whether 2 million or 12 like it.

My point? 

KEEP DOING WHAT YOU’RE CALLED TO DO! 

I admit that I used to get discouraged and disappointed when I saw people- MY people- call on others to do exactly what I do and then get invited to watch. I can now  laugh at my excitement about finally getting those calls…only to be asked for a contact of a colleague!

Listen, take it from me: know who you are and know that you will have an audience. They may not look like you or come from the same neighborhood as you, but trust that your audience is awaiting your voice. Forget about others who don’t support (yes, even if they’re your family and friends.) In time, like the bandwagon, they’ll catch up.

Appreciate Your Storm

If I took a poll, surveying people who likes sunshine or storms most would choose sunshine. I mean really, why do you think people refer to storms as “bad weather?” 

As a young girl, my mother taught me to avoid using that very term, “bad weather.” She told me that there was no such thing. “IMPOSSIBLE!” I thought. But she explained that God sends the rain just as He does sunshine. WOW! I’d never thought of it that way. 

The climate or atmosphere may be our preference but that alone doesn’t make it “bad.” I was then taught the more appropriate term to describe weather relating to storms or the bitter cold temperatures of the northeast: inclement. 

There was something else I’d learned. I learned to appreciate the storm. The earth needs torrential downpours of water to keep vegetation growing. The earth needs bitterly cold temperatures to kill off all of the germs before the warmth of Spring and the allergens appear. 

Did you ever notice, the bigger the storm the more still we become? There’s something about the devastation of what we cannot control that makes humans be still. Snow, floods, ice, rain, heat can all shut down an entire city and even region if large enough. 

So, what do we do in those times and immediately after? We hunker down, bind ourselves together and then we recover. Hang on in there! The sun will shine after while. 

What lessons have you to learn from your storm? I’m sure it’s made you stronger. It’s truly a part of your growth in the journey. 

Four Ways to Balance Work, Life and Love

Does your balancing act at life seem to look more like a juggling act? Getting caught up in achieving goals in a career and burning out quickly in life happens more often than not. Include the right proportion of each of these each day. 

1.  Prioritize

Know and act on what’s important. More times than not, we can consider this list as basic. Things that ensure your bills are consistently paid on time should be listed as priority. Even if you don’t work every day, what pays your bills should be listed here. For example, I don’t speak publicly on a daily basis but I make time to work on my speaking engagements daily. Also, making sure your marriage remains in tact and your children are cared for should be included here also. 
I know, I know! Those things alone is a fully packed week! Stay with me; it gets easier from here.

2. Exercise 

This activity works out best in the morning and I’ll tell you why. I will be the first to admit that exercise is not my favorite thing at all, but I have learned a truth from those who do exercise often: exercise gives you energy. It releases endorphins that betters your mood and leads to overall good health. Even if just 30 minutes per day, commit your day to get moving. If you do, you will find that your energy level will increase and your stress level decreased.

3. Socialize

Everyone needs an outlet. Your friends are your friends because you have at least one thing in common, so go out and have fun do my that thing with them. Everyday? Well, you don’t have to break out the book club daily, but think of things in terms of a schedule: book club, choir rehearsal, spinning class, etc. Have a short text chat with friends. Post on social media. Find subtle ways to take a two minute mental break and just have fun!

Here is also where your love life comes in. No matter how long you are in a relationship, continue to DATE. People change, evolve, and grow. The recognition of change should not happen five or ten years later because you haven’t paid attention. It’s unlikely that you will literally “go out” everyday, but a text, a handwritten note, a short call, or a ten minute sit down all alone will help to strengthen the bond.

4. Personalize

One of the most dangerous things is taking care of everyone else except yourself. I cannot tell you how many women are guilty of this. It is a major disservice to yourself. You are no good to anyone if you are not whole. 

Write yourself in on your calendar! Do something that YOU enjoy and learn to enjoy your company. If you’re the type of person who says, “I’ll use this time to work because I just LOVE my job and what I do,” CHOOSE SOMETHING DIFFERENT. You must learn to separate them. Schedule time at the spa or if funds are low, find time to soak in a bubble bath and throw in a self pedicure. 

Getting proper rest is also integral. Some people feel guilty when they get in a full night’s sleep. Others see those eight hours as the gift they’ll see only after retirement. Sleep and rest are two of the most critical components to successful living. Your body recovers and repairs your immune system during rest. It is important to note that sleep and rest are different. Before retiring for the night, clear your head. Do not engage in stressful activity before going to sleep. Give yourself time to unwind. Many people sleep eight hours and awake tired because they didn’t get rest.

So, there it is! Prioritize, Exercise, Socialize, and Personalize. Include the right proportion of these four and you’re off to the great balancing act of work, life and love! 
 

©Photo credit to respective owner